Written by Emma Lovell: The Response

I came across Angie Needle’s blog recently: Emotional Resilience or Emotional Brilliance and it was exactly what I needed to read. So much so, that I contacted Angie to thank her for writing such transparent and truthful words. Writing blogs or content about the industry can be easy when you know what you want to say and how you want to deliver the message. Writing about emotions and personal anecdotes, in an industry that hasn’t necessarily catered for it previously, is just plain hard. So, the emotional resilience or brilliance message was one I welcomed with open arms.

As Angie said, some people can internalise their emotions and others struggle. I am one of those who just can’t. There have been some amazing people, projects, companies and industries that I’ve worked with. They’ve all brought some incredible experiences, both positive and negative. And with those experiences, the learning curves have brought an array of emotions into the mix. Both amazing and some a little less so.

When you’re passionate about what you do, it can sometimes hit you a little hard when a project, or feedback doesn’t go to plan. Being hard on yourself and screaming “RULE NUMBER 5!!” Doesn’t always help either. (If you’re a road cyclist, hopefully you’ll know what I mean. For those who don’t, welcome to Velominati’s Cycling Laws).

There was a line Angie wrote, however, that resonated deeply with me: “…but what I have learnt, is that the more competent and capable you feel, the more you decide not to care about what others think of you…”.

Reading Angie’s blog made me think of some especially hard times I’d had in my work life and how I’d reacted to certain situations. Couple that with the ups and downs of life in general and you start to realise that Rule Number Five is just a pipe dream. There was a pattern with my lack of emotional resilience I realised, that correlated with feeling incapable and incompetent. This is what Angie’s words triggered. When I felt incapable and incompetent, it was not unusual for me to attempt to hold it together, begging myself not to cry in the worst working moments.

What I also realised though, was that when I had hit these points, I had developed pretty good ways of dusting myself off and building a ladder out of that emotional pit of misery. (Note: the length of time climbing out of the pit depended on how far I had let myself dig in the first place).

A few things I concentrate on to help build up a form of emotional resilience, are all tailored to help me get back up and out there. For example, investing in LinkedIn Premium and doing every course I could, around a busy schedule. Courses reminding myself of the detailed intricacies of building out successful strategies, through to body language for women in the boardroom. I watch Ted Talks videos on YouTube (I seriously recommend this one by Dr. Ivan Joseph on confidence and Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle for personal or business growth). I read blogs on developing your motivation. Attending industry and professional events can also seriously help too. I regularly attend Women in Tech and Tech Nottingham talks, as well as events designed for my profession. Networking with others is one of the best ways to get you back out of your comfort zone and feeling like a warrior again (for me anyway, not everyone is that way inclined).

Reading Angie’s words put a lot into perspective for me, that I hadn’t realised until then.

Whilst it can sometimes be easy in principle to tell yourself to stop being emotional, it’s not always like that in life. Keep investing in yourself to build up and maintain your confidence and don’t ever let that slip. Being able to reduce the sense of feeling incapable and incompetent will help with being able to brush off the bits that would previously trigger you.

And if all else fails and the tears starting prickling, don’t forget to laugh at yourself later. Laughter is the medicine to everything, and everything is a laugh or cry situation.

If you need someone to giggle with, over a ‘moment’ you experienced, I promise you I can give you some absolute gold in return! Equally, drop me a message if you have any feedback on my five cents, it would be amazing to hear if this helped: [email protected]

By Emma Lovell, Marketing Manager, ENSEK.